


Learning the Blues

by knighthart



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/F, F/M, Feelings, Melancholy, Moving On, Post-Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:07:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25887811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knighthart/pseuds/knighthart
Summary: While Harry watches Eggsy getting married with the love of his life, he thinks about his own loneliness.
Relationships: Harry Hart/Gary Eggsy Unwin (Unilateral), Tilde/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Learning the Blues

Harry made peace with his loneliness a long time ago. He knew he was doomed to take this path and that look back would only bring him pain. However, sometimes he let himself dwell on how miserable he felt. Those feelings would usually pop up on his mind when he was in the presence of happy people because their honest smiles were a reminder that it has been a long time since Harry truly smiled.

For example, now. Harry is watching Eggsy standing at the altar, bitting his lips because he is too nervous to stand still. Then, all the tension in his body vanished like smoke when he saw Tilde walking in his direction. Just like magic, Eggsy's smile blossomed like a sunflower and his eyes started tearing with pure and undeniable happiness. 

Harry smiled, more because he should than because he wanted. Of course, he was happy for his protege, but all that Harry could think at that moment is that Eggsy wasn't smiling for him and that all the love in Eggsy's eyes didn't belong to him. It amazed Harry how he could be both sad and happy at the same time. After that, the loneliness made itself present at Harry's side for the whole ceremony. It put a hand on Harry's shoulder when his heart clench when Eggsy said "I do" and it held Harry's hand when he saw Eggsy and Tilde walking away together. It encouraged Harry to make a beautiful speech at their reception and it reminded Harry that he was fine.

"After all," it whispered while Harry was watching Eggsy dance with Tilde. "He is happy and that is all that matters."

And it was true. Eggsy was happy, he'll have and brilliant and amazing future. He'll face challenges, he will face pain, and anger, and lots because life isn't life without those feelings. But he won't be alone while doing so. Eggsy will have his mother, sister, Tilde, and his future kids. He'll also have Harry, always watching from a distance like a silent guardian. He'll have a life that Harry could have had if he was a little less scared of letting himself be vulnerable.

At the end of the night, Harry said goodbye to Eggsy and Tilde and gave his best wishes for both. Eggsy made Harry promised that he will stop by next week to have dinner with them, and Harry's loneliness welcomed it politely, reminding Harry that even sometimes it has to go away because, despite Harry's feelings, he didn't totally alone yet. 

Harry went home with his loneliness, Mr. Pickle The Second welcomed them with their little barks, and Harry's loneliness decided to go to bed while Harry stayed awake to play with Mr. Pickle in his new house. Tomorrow morning, he'll wake up, he'll go through his day, he'll stand with his head high and he'll live. He won't allow himself to be sad for the past, for what he lost, and for all the things he can't fix. 

Tomorrow, he'll work to make himself less loneliness, until his loneliness decides to let him for good. After all, he is alive, isn't he? So he'll make the best of the time he has left on this earth and maybe, someday, happiness will visit him again and it will stay.

When Harry went to bed, Mr. Pickle The Second snoring on his feet, loneliness was miles away.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I was inspired by a post on Tumblr talking about how Miserable Harry must feel after what happened in TGC so it came to my mind. The name of this chapter was inspired by the song Learnin' The Blues by Frank Sinatra! Don't forget to leave a comment! They always make my nights no matter how short!


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